lunes, 19 de septiembre de 2011

early mourning

A few hours ago I received through Facebook an invitation for an event. When I checked it said: "Lisman Ato Funeral's Service". What? I though I was misreading. I read again. A funeral? I clicked in and I read the whole thing, described as if it were another trvial event. I could only read the words "celebrating his life" and "sudden lost". Was he dead? No. This must be a joke. But it's not April's Fool Day. What is this?

I got into his Facebook profile and there it was. Hundred of wall posts talking about his death, saying goodbye like he could actually read them. I've always wondered, why do people do that? Why'd they leave messages on his profile, knowing he's not gonna check it again? There's something poetic and creepy about it. Some people were asking the same question I had in my mind...What happened? The last time I saw him was during the Hurricaine Irene weekend in New York City. We bumped into each other. Actually, that was kind of unpurposed. I knew he worked there and I was hoping to see him after such a long hiatus. And there he was. Right exactly at the place we met a year ago. I remember that moment vividly. It was so different from everything I'd experienced before. We had a great time. We kept in touch. Even though we weren't really close friends, we had an unique connection. A platonic relationship. We could've bumped into each other from time to time, and still feel the same.

I couldn't help but crying, I cried so hard it gave me a headache. I was in a state of shock. I couldn't fathom, and still can't, why such a bright young life had to be taken away so fast, so soon. He had so many dreams and ambitions, and he was working damn hard for them; he was on his way. Deep inside I hope he's reading what I'm writing and know I'm feeling his loss. New York won't ever be the same for me. The New York I knew for the first time is no longer there. And everytime I walk by the place he used to work, I'll remember him.

This made me think how short life is. How short life can be for someone. Sometimes, it can be a reminder to re evaluate whatever you're doing with your life, with your youth, and to think whether it is the right thing. To think whether you are living to the fullest and to make sure you're not wasting a minute of it. I've lost many people in my life. Friends, relatives. And everytime I make myself the same question: "What am I doing with my life?". It's time to make priorities and appreciate what I have right now, not what I am missing. I have to remember that if someone or something is not present in my life, it's not worth my time missing it, even if it's not the easiest thing to do.

Lisman, I'm sure you touched many lives, and I want you to know you touched mine. Thanks for being part of it, and making my first memory of New York, unforgettable.


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