viernes, 18 de noviembre de 2011

what happened?!

Seriously, tonight was fucked up. I had a stew of guys and flashbacks coming to me in a hour. I found the unexpected. This time, life surprised me. I saw Brian at the club. The club I go often. The one where my neighborhood is. What the fuck is he doing here?
I saw his hair and I recognized him, though it was impossible for me to believe. What is he doing there? I panicked. I stand there and suddenly I had to wake up. But it wasn't a dream. It was happening. He was there. I saw his friends. He looked so lively this time. Like he was having a good time. I thought about saying Hi, but we avoided each other. Such a bad sign. When you ignore someone it's because you don't even want that person to be there. You don't wanna even bother to say hi. It's a banned person in your mind.

I stood with my friend M. and we got inside. The music was loud. The place was crowded, but I was just thinking about him. It was the worst feeling, when you think you're over someone cause he's out of sight, but at the moment you see him, your chest just get full of pain, heart explodes and beats faster. The adrenaline is running through your veins. After my friend left and didn't come back, I decided to leave as well, but not without a cigarrette first. I needed to drain my emotions for a bit. When I thought the night couldn't get weirder, I bumped into E. mourning in a club. Fair much? No. Hypocrite much? Yes. "I'm with a friend" he said, "I'm holding his jacket". Great to see you, E.

I opened that exit door and just when I'm about to look for someone for a cigarrette, B. is standing right there in front of me, against the wall. I ignored him again. I know he saw me, and if he wanted to say hi, he just would've had approached. I was dying to, but I wasn't going to take the first step. After stealing a cigarrette to some creeper, I started smoking my dignity and what was left of my self esteem. After a few drags I saw E. again on the middle of the intersection, I assumed he was looking for a cab. After asking him if he needed any help, we just stayed there for a long minute, taking about nothing and I left. We didn't say goodbye. I thought my silence to his text messages last weekend was obvious. B. wasn't there anymore.

Let's see...

No B., no D., no E. No nothing.

Their presence represented a brief summary of my life in Boston, THANK YOU C.C. I didn't know I could be able to revisit so many emotions in such a short period of time.

Mood Style: WTF
Sweater: Diesel
Boots: Dr. Martens
Jeans: H&M
Tee. Abercrombie and Fitch
Jacket: Zolo Jeans


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